Welcome to You+

A special guest post by Tom Bandolier, CEO of Geneticsys, Inc.

You may not have heard of us yet, but You will soon. My name is Tom Bandolier, and I started You+ because for years I’ve been burrowed deep in the world of genetics and robotics working on creating a better me.

And, a better you.

Forget those tucks and Botox injections. Now, there’s a way to not only age gracefully but actually reverse the aging process.

Introducing You+ from Geneticsys, Inc.

We are your one-stop-shop for augmentation. We have incorporated best of breed industrial nanotechnology and genetic techniques to offer you a full menu of augmentation possibilities, including:

Changed skin color

Don’t like the color of your skin? Change it! You can be any number of colors, or more than one, using our patented nano-melanin Skin+™ technology. There are no limitations. If you want to look like a rainbow, go for it. If you would rather look like Frank Gorshin, we’ll cheer you on every step of the way.

Enhanced eyesight

20–20 vision is so boring. Let us inject you with nanobots that flow into your iris and provide you with zoom and enhanced night vision. Try our patented TelescopicEye™ technology to see objects from miles away. And of course, with MemoryVision™, you can record everything you see with your newly enhanced vision and store it in your brain and in the cloud.

Age reversal

Using biological reprogramming, all your body’s cells can be made pluripotent. This means that they can be used in any part of your body to actually reverse the aging process. So skip those bingo games and harness your inner Steve Austin.

Modern prosthetics

We go well beyond traditional limb replacement. We can provide you with a partial face implant for any reason that will leave you with capabilities beyond your wildest imagination.

If you want to look more like The Fly than a cheerleader, who are we to judge? One of the greatest things about You+ is that it allows you to be you, no matter who you want to be.

Body augmentation

If style is your thing, try our popular Peacock+™ implants, which take advantage of gene-splicing technology to help you grow feathers on your back and head.

Maybe steampunk is more your thing. If so, try Steam+™. Imagine taking on a whole new look, with each new part of you boasting practical functionality. The woman in this picture doesn’t just have that whole steampunk thing going. Each augmentation serves a specific purpose.

The round gears on her uniform communicate with nanobots in her bloodstream to provide 24/7 health monitoring. The glasses give her night vision. The gears in her hair provide her with 24/7 internet access and ten billion terabytes of memory storage with direct access to her brain’s neurons.

She also has so many cameras that nobody will dare try to cause her harm, especially when the bad guys find out that some of those gears you see are lethal drones that will cut the largest villains down to size in a matter of seconds. Take that, Kronos!

Self-defense

Speaking of self-defense, the woman in the picture below is augmented with a device that communicates directly with her weapon, making it literally impossible to miss her target. Oh, and hey, if that attachment on her face reminds you of a certain Star Trek character, it’s by design. She chose that look.

If you prefer, we can camouflage the augmentation so effectively that only your most intimate partners will know it’s there. And if they don’t like it, they better keep their mouth shut, right?

Subscribe to YOU+ today

You’ve worked hard to get where you are. You are one of the great achievers. Or maybe you haven’t done much in life but your parents did. Good for you, anyway!

Don’t you deserve to look forward to your mature years with excitement? You’ll not only be a model of good health but you’ll also be enhanced with the best robotics and genetics have to offer.

You will be a new you. You will be You+.

Subscribe for a new enhancement every month. You will be glad you did.

Note: You must have a net worth of at least $30 million to be considered for a You+ subscription.

Side effects of using You+ products or subscribing to You+ enhancements include but are not limited to hair loss, stuffy nose, drowsiness, headaches, muscle tightness and/or stiffness, blood clotting, nose bleeds, extreme weight loss, obesity, unexpected orange skin and/or hair, dementia, pathological lying, erectile dysfunction, anal bleeding, fecal incontinence, permanent rectal dilation, grand mal seizures, brain hemorrhaging, and death. Consult your physician before using any of our products.

This story is part of The MagicLand Chronicles: Short stories related to my debut novel, MagicLand, but with different characters and plots.