Welcome to You+
It's time for a new, augmented YOU! A MagicLand Chronicles fiction short story
A special guest post by Tom Bandolier,1 CEO of Geneticsys, Inc.
You may not have heard of us yet, but You will soon. My name is Tom Bandolier, and I started You+ because for years I’ve been burrowed deep in the world of genetics and robotics working on creating a better me.
And, a better you.
Forget those tucks and Botox injections. Now, there’s a way to not only age gracefully but actually reverse the aging process.
Introducing You+ from Geneticsys, Inc.
We are your one-stop shop for augmentation. We have incorporated best-of-breed industrial nanotechnology and genetic techniques to offer you a full menu of augmentation possibilities, including:
Changed skin color
Don’t like the color of your skin? Change it! You can be any number of colors, or more than one, using our patented nano-melanin Skin+™ technology. There are no limitations. If you want to look like a rainbow, go for it. If you would rather look like Frank Gorshin, we’ll cheer you on every step of the way.
Enhanced eyesight
20–20 vision is so boring. Let us inject you with nanobots that flow into your iris and provide you with zoom and enhanced night vision. Try our patented TelescopicEye™ technology to see objects from miles away. And of course, with MemoryVision™, you can record everything you see with your newly enhanced vision and store it in your brain and the cloud.
Please note that our new corporate owner, Amazon, stores all vision experiences in the cloud for your protection.2
Age reversal
Using biological reprogramming, all your body’s cells can be made pluripotent. This means that they can be used in any part of your body to actually reverse the aging process. So skip those bingo games and harness your inner Steve Austin.
Modern prosthetics
We go well beyond traditional limb replacement. We can provide you with a partial face implant for any reason that will give you capabilities beyond your wildest imagination.
If you want to look more like The Fly than a cheerleader, who are we to judge? One of the greatest things about You+ is that it allows you to be you, no matter who you want to be.
Body augmentation
If style is your thing, try our popular Peacock+™ implants, which take advantage of gene-splicing technology to help you grow feathers on your back and head.
Maybe steampunk is more your thing. If so, try Steam+™. Imagine taking on a whole new look, with each new part of you boasting practical functionality. The woman in this picture doesn’t just have that whole steampunk thing going. Each augmentation serves a specific purpose.
The round gears on her uniform communicate with nanobots in her bloodstream to provide 24/7 health monitoring. The glasses give her night vision. The gears in her hair provide her with 24/7 internet access and ten billion terabytes of memory storage with direct access to her brain’s neurons.
She also has so many cameras that nobody will dare try to cause her harm, especially when the bad guys find out that some of those gears you see are lethal drones that will cut the largest villains down to size in a matter of seconds.
Self-defense
Speaking of self-defense, the woman in the picture below is augmented with a device that communicates directly with her weapon, making it impossible to miss her target. Oh, and hey, if that attachment on her face reminds you of a certain Star Trek character, it’s by design. She chose that look.
If you prefer, we can camouflage the augmentation so effectively that only your most intimate partners will know it’s there. And if they don’t like it, they better keep their mouth shut, right?
Subscribe to YOU+ today
You’ve worked hard to get where you are. You are one of the great achievers. Or maybe you haven’t done much in life but your parents did. Good for you, anyway!
Don’t you deserve to look forward to your mature years with excitement? You’ll not only be a model of good health but you’ll also be enhanced with the best that robotics and genetics have to offer.
You will be a new you. You will be You+.
Subscribe for a new enhancement every month. You will be glad you did.
Note: You must have a net worth of at least $30 million to be considered for a You+ subscription.
Side effects of using You+ products or subscribing to You+ enhancements include but are not limited to hair loss, stuffy nose, drowsiness, headaches, muscle tightness and/or stiffness, blood clotting, nose bleeds, extreme weight loss, obesity, unexpected orange skin and/or hair, dementia, pathological lying, erectile dysfunction, anal bleeding, fecal incontinence, permanent rectal dilation, grand mal seizures, brain hemorrhaging, and death. Consult your physician before using any of our products.
This story is part of The MagicLand Chronicles: Short stories related to my debut novel, MagicLand, but with different characters and plots.
If you haven’t listened to the hard blues band of the 1970s, Budgie, you haven’t yet experienced music as fully as you can. Someday, I want to be a You+ subscriber so I can look like the guy in the Budgie Bandolier album cover art.
Based on the real deal, In real life, Amazon Echo users will need to acquiesce to having their commands stored on Amazon servers beginning March 28 if they want to use Echo’s Voice ID feature. See:
Harding, Scharon. 2025. “Everything You Say to Your Echo Will Be Sent to Amazon Starting on March 28.” Ars Technica. March 14, 2025. https://arstechnica.com/gadgets/2025/03/everything-you-say-to-your-echo-will-be-sent-to-amazon-starting-on-march-28/.
“unexpected orange skin and/or hair, dementia, pathological lying, erectile dysfunction, anal bleeding, fecal incontinence,”
That’s unfortunate. I was looking forward to a TelecopicEye, but not if it’s going to turn me into the president. 🤣